One of my gaybies was going to get fired.

I supported him, despite the fact he screwed me on one of my shifts and no I don't know anyone like that and I am certainly not looking at you <lj user="mouloukube">.

*ahem*

So I begged, and pleaded, and mentioned how life just happens sometimes and...

He's now mine.

Cuni said she'd keep him on, but he's my project. He's MINE.

I may have just inherited another kid.

He was teary and thankful and and and....for a boy with mother issues, saying "Look, you have to do what I tell you, show up when you're called, and BEHAVE" Oy. He's so happy he can't see straight.

Dear gods. How do I keep finding them?

Had an interesting conversation with Ashe this afternoon. Seems he knows he is wierd, and is perfectly happy with that fact. He told me about how he likes to watch a bottle of frozen water turn back to liquid, what his current art project is, what color he wants to paint his hair next, and who he thinks the next Top Chef is going to be.

And that's the *normal* part of the conversation.

Can I just go back home and go to bed?

Life has taken yet another turn for the surreal. It isn't any one thing; it is just....a feeling. Something big is on the horizon; something is going to happen soon. I have several ideas, but I'm not sure what is actually going to happen. The last 48 hours have been decidedly prophetic and...I don't know.

I just don't know.

I really did give birth to the oddest child on the planet, didn't I?

I love my Schmoe, but he is DEEPLY strange.

It isn't even my day off....

Thanksgiving seems to be resolving itself. MK wants me to pick up one of her shifts, and Miz Foster would love to have me on deck for Wednesday (we're doing this thing where for $99 you get a complete Thanksgiving dinner for 4. Yes, it is pricey, but it is SELLING. So Wednesday will be all catering, all the time). There is an excellent possibility that I'll be spending Thursday and Friday with an old high school friend, so life isn't so bad.

It still sucks that Kent will be travelling alone on his birthday. And flying, no less. :( However, some down time to get my head together might not be the worst thing in the world. I think life might get *really* interesting in the near future. Might as well take the blank spaces while I can.

Bring it on, Universe!

So....I'll be alone on Thanksgiving.
We can't afford tickets for both of us, and I would rather walk on my lips through glass than leave his mom without him on his birthday.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

So, I called work and offered to pick up the shifts I begged to abandon. Yay. That still leaves me at loose ends on Thursday and Friday, and probably several other days as well.

On the up side, it gives me time to catch up on the holiday project list from heck. On the down side, that gives me 48 hours to wallow in self-pity and accomplish NOTHING.

Bleh.

Yup...getting the days off. I HATE confrontation (no, really--I do, Okay, I hate DIRECT confrontation), but I went in and called bullshit and....yup. I'm now going to Delaware. SC was apologetic, and we have changed how we do time off requests (you used to have to fill out a form; now we have a calendar). However, she remembered everyone joking about the fact that I brought in a million slips at the first of the year and that I'm organized (?????) enough to plan my days off that far in advance.

Thankfully, it is pretty easy to keep track of: Liam's birthday, Ashe's birthday, Thanksgiving in Delaware, Christmas in Bristol. Next year I'm adding 2 weddings and Dragon*con into the mix, but that seems to be the set schedule.

I can't believe I'm actually *happy* to be going to Delaware.

I am glad I can, though, because this has been such a rough year for Rosemarie and Larry. It will be nice to be able to make dinner for them and just take care of them for a while. AND I am loading up the suitcase with musicals to combat the ""all football, all the time" theme that Larry and Kent love so much. They can go into the den and watch. ;P

What I'm really looking forward to, however, is the train ride. I'd never taken a train ride of that length until we made the trek last year, and it is....romantic. It is every MGM film I ever adored when I was a kid. There is a sense of adventure, a sense of freedom.

Yeah, I'm odd. I know.

We need to start looking into flights to Bristol for Christmas. Oy. Not looking forward to the expense, but ANYTHING is better than a 6 hour trip crammed into the back of a Cutlass. If KENT complains about lack of leg room, how do y'all think I felt? The mere fact that he is suggesting flying says it all.

Life around here continues to be interesting. He is in full-on wedding planning mode. I tend to do my obsessing quietly (don't want to be too much of a girl, ya know). His is right out there. New obsession? Invitations. And how they will be worded.

I looked at him the other night and said "Were you this involved in your first wedding?"

Nope. Neither was I, frankly (hey, I was trying to graduate, working AND walking on eggshells to not upset Derk's family or mine. Amazing how much more freedom you have when you quit caring what everyone thinks).

This is an interesting process. I think we're learning quite a bit about each other. He really is a die hard romantic, and very traditional where rituals are concerned (anyone who is willing to wear a tux...in Tennesee...in July...). I'm starting to let go a little and not be afraid to say "I want this..." I had my romantic side stepped on or sexualized for so many years that just feeling like I can say "I want to carry pink roses" or "Can we have the traditional first dance?" is an amazing feeling.

Okay, I'll quit hijacking y'all's flist. Have a wonderful Wednesday!

Apparently, the only thing more fun than picking on the only girl in your Fantasy Football league is busting on her fiance because her team is kicking his team's ass.

Let's just say that the speculation as to who wears the pants in the family (I am being genteeel...even I won't say what was actually said) has been loud, voluminous, and VULGAR after last night. *shakes head*

And the win is pretty much in the bag, unless Kent's QB manages to score 68 points tonight. Oy.

Still...second in the league, baby! Not bad for a virgin. ;P And at least they've quit speculating that Kent is doing the work for me.

In other news, last night wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been. I'm really proud of my team and the way we worked together. And David, bless his heart, stayed a little later to help Louisa and me with our sidework (since I was stuck managing AND running a position). In this business, I have so often run into the "that's not my sidework" attitude, that it is really wonderful to see line people running food, retail people helping with dishes, everyone cleaning dining room (and boogying to 'Bronya Vladvoshnoshthk' by Emerald Rose. That on endless loop is my new favorite "Get out of my dining room; we're closed" music. Plus, it is high energy and, well...I love the song). I work with some truly wonderful people.

Which is why it is going to break my heart that I might be quitting.

I put in for Thanksgiving off back in JANUARY. However, a certain someone who has Miz Foster's ear got the time off and I didn't.

I am sick of the politics. I am sick of getting screwed on staffing (last night was unavoidable, but I am consistently getting shorted on staffing because, sadly, I can make it work. Goddamn curse of competence). The last thing is getting screwed on time off that I asked for.

Soooo...I'm thinking. Contemplating. Ruminating. The coffee shop around the corner from J&J's is hiring. J&J's is going to be hiring by the end of the week. I don't like the idea of a cut in pay, but....I don't know how much longer I can bite my tongue, bow my head, and pretend that I don't see the politics. With this new dickhead...er, kitchen manager, I am NEVER going to get in the back of the house, soooo...I don't know.

There's also part of me that says to just let it roll off my back.

If I got a job at Tymberline, though, Kent and I could get an apartment up there, which *would* be cheaper...and have a pool. And be more convenient.

However, we would have to *move* (ugh). And I really like the cool new neighbors.

My brain hurts. Anyone feel like sending me to a spa for a week so I can get my head together?

FIRST: If you've been tagged, you must write your answers in your own LJ and replace any question that you dislike with a new, original question.
SECOND: Tag eight sexy people. Don't refuse to do that like a pansy.

Who sleeps in bed next to you?
Kent and one of our stuffies, usually Mr. Bunny or the Alice Cooper Bear

What did you last eat?
Meatloaf on toasted buttermilk bread, leftover sweet potato casserole from work

What kind of books do you read?
Just about anything: fiction, essay collections, cookbooks

If you could be anywhere right now, where would it be?
I'm pretty content right where I am, but I would love to be back in NYC with the boys...only with Kent along this time.

When is your birthday?
May 27

Name one odd item within five feet of you.
A purple plactic champage flute with a skeleton hand as the stem full of iced Earl Grey tea.

What's your current fandom / obsession / addiction?
Project Runway, Top Chef

What did you really want to do today that you didn't?
Stay home with Kent

What's your favorite holiday?
Halloween!

What websites do you always visit when you go online?
LJ, Facebook, gmail, Pandora

If you could have any pet, what would it be?
a cocker spaniel puppy

Salty or sweet?
Savory.

What do you want right this minute, off the top of your head?
To have Thanksgiving off

Where is the place you like to return in order to calm down/relax/etc?
Home

What's one thing that terrifies you that nobody else gets?
Escalators. My depth perception (or lack there) makes it hard to step on something that it is moving, so a down escalator makes me feel like I'm going to tumble to my death.

What color is your cell phone?
Invisible. :)

Are there any bits of childhood that you miss?
Afternoons with my great-granma Krasyk, watching 'Days of Our Lives' (she always made me cover my eyes when unmarried couples kissed), doing needlepoint, and drinking hot milk with coffee.

What is one of your favorite quotes?
"Nothing provokes suspiscion so much as a woman enjoying herself." L. M. Alcott

Say something to the person who tagged you.
<lj user="eriksangel15"> is a fellow Phantom geek, and just incredibly interesting to read. I wish we'd met back when I was living in PA.
<lj user="soothethemuse"> is an inspiration to me.

Tagging... Hrm.
<lj user="diaphoni">
<lj user="mrnonymous">
<lj user="corwin77">
<lj user=beautyofgrey">
<lj user="666_goddess">
<lj user="ayoub">
<lj user="lissa_ann">
<lj user="geniusinmaine">

Had Schmoe (Ashe) related dreams last night.

Woke up to hear Kent grinding his teeth so hard the squeaking woke me up. This is his ex's birthday, and he was having guilt over his part in the demise of his marriage, and his reluctance to call or send her an e-card. They don't speak often (there are no kids involved, so they really don't have to), so there is....a lot of stuff he has to catch her up on *ahem* He's in stressed out avoidance mode.

Then I found out one of my closers is having "a crisis" and can't come in tonight, and cannot find someone to cover. Fuck.

That sucks in and of itself, but I am going to have to have words with the kitchen manager. He has been nasty, short, rude, and obviously thinks I'm beneath him...but YOU DON'T SCREAM AT MY RETAIL STAFF. If the kitchen is your turf, then that floor is mine...STAY THE FUCK OFF IT. W called to get my number to give the heads up early; this yoyo screams at him for calling during "his" brunch, and hung up on him.

Uh, no. The kid was actually trying to do the right thing. If you are too fucking busy to answer the phone....don't answer it. There are 7 other people on staff for Sunday brunch (actually, more today, because it is the Thanksgiving open house), SOMEONE will answer the phone. Don't yell at one of <i>my</i> people for doing their job.

Oy. I feel the need for massive amounts of carbs coming on.

My next day off is Friday. Feh. On the upside, I close all week, so Kent and I will have mornings together. And I'm off next Sunday! We'll have a whole day together. I see brunch coming on. :) I've been having an insane desire for pancakes lately, and too lazy to make them. I think he owes me for fielding all of the pre-visit neurotic phone calls from his mom. Yes, yes he does.

We've been "shopping" for wedding bands. We've found approximately...oh, a half dozen possibilities so far. I like that he is the one who suggested something out of The Pyramid Collection catalogue, because I have ALWAYS loved their rings. I'll post pictures once we finally decide.

I did, however, tell him that a silver band inscribed with "I love you...Go Steelers!" will get the engagement called off. I still have a couple of years before that offer for a marriage of convenience with Mark runs out. ;P


Hope everyone is having a fabulous Sunday! Time to go ride the trainwreck that is with one other person....

Today is Ashe's birthday. I'm really missing him today. :(

With Derk, it was Deacon. He's the reason I didn't have a ticket to see Pink Floyd, He had 8 EXTRA that he promised to women in his office....all of which he ended up selling at the gate.

With Kent, we have Tinfoil Hat Boy. WHO FORGOT TO BUY MY TICKET.

Yeah, I'll be staying home tonight. And the term pissed off doesn't even begin to cover it. I took a day off for no apparent reason. I was getting into rock and roll princess mode. I NEEDED this concert.

Nope. Not gonna happen.

Kent offered me his ticket, but I just...can't. First of all, I want to strangle THB on a *good* day Second of all...well, there really is no second. I either want to go with Kent or not at all.

Grrrrr.....

I guess today is going to be all chick flicks and crochet. There ARE worse things in the world.

You know her.

Somewhat self-possessed.  Comfortable in her own skin.  Unapologetic for who she is.  Usually best identified by the fact that she has either dressed to please herself or in the dark.  Or both.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of the windows of the new bookstore today as I walked to work. There was a woman wearing a Piet Mondrian scarf to tie back her hair, d10 earrings, a black thermal shirt under a black Foster's tshirt, a black ankle length skirt, tights patterned with roses and barbed wire, Converse with Betty Page laces.

And it struck me....

For the first time in my life, I'm just me.  Not trying to fit some mold, some ideal.  I am not trying to be the good daughter, the honor student, the perfect wife.  I'm just who I am.  And I think the clothes have something to do with it....can't quite explain why.

But I caught that glimpse, and thought "I like that person."  It was an amazing feeling.

I hope all of y'all have one of those moments today.

This is obviously the year of music.

Friday.

Raleigh.

Kent, Tinfoil Hat Boy and I are going to see The Cult.  The Love Live tour.

Damn.

Time to get out my rock n' roll gear again.  :)

And, for once, I'm not being snarky.

It was such a <i>nice</i> day.  I opened, and came in to find a "welcome home!" note from Judith.  :)

My regulars were all hugs and smiles, asking about my trip, telling me they missed me, commenting on my pictures of the boys (a number of them are on FB).  It was really, really nice.  I felt really welcomed.

Paul came in after recording all morning.  He finished "Jacob's Ladder" (the song he wrote about the son he lost) and invited me out to his car to listened to the finished product.

I've been all over the map emotionally since the trip, so that song really hit me.  We sat in the car in silence, both of us crying as the rain poured down.  It was such an oddly intimate moment.  I am honored by his trust.

I love this town.

A million kisses to the first person who finds me a print of that Doonesbury cartoon.

Loved the trip.  Wonderful time.  Love being with my babies, and a chunk of my heart goes with them every time we part.

I am not sorry to be out of New Jersey, however.  There is something about that state that exhausts me, drains me.  Apologies in advance to my friends who live and thrive in the garden state, but I fucking hate every second I am there.  It is just...a vibe, the climate...I don't know.  I could feel my shoulders relax and my jaw unclench the minute I walked off the plane and felt the warm air hit my face.  As eager as I was to get to Kent, I just had to pause for a moment and thank the gods that I was home.

It is a dichotomy of the worst sort: I LOVE being with my boys, but getting the hell out of Jersey is such an incredible relief.

It took my thirtysome years to find it, but this really is home.

And, thank the gods, I am back.

Currently holed up in the Holiday Inn in Newark, which is pretty nice by my standards (especially for $49/night). 1.3 miles from the airport; shuttle service to the airport (which will be useful when I have to get there at 4:30 IN THE DAMN MORNING); a newsstand where the proprietor GAVE me copies of the Post and the Daily News because it was the end of the day; free WiFi; room service, nice surroundings....and did I mention room service and free Wifi?

Very swank. Mr. Bunny and I are sharing a shrimp cocktail (good thing he doesn't eat much, or he might lose a paw), listening to music and uploading pictures.

I know where I'll be staying the last night of every stay here from now on. The kids never get to stay with me the last night (I usually leave on Monday, and they have Sunday night chores and school), and this is a great decompression chamber.

The trip was wonderful; the goodbyes heartwrenching...and I am at that place where, if I can't be with my babies, I want to be HOME, damnit.

In 12 hours, though, I will be. Which is good, because Mr. Bunny is a pretty poor substitute for Kent...even if Mr. Bunny doesn't snore.

I have more to write about (especially our adventures in NYC, and some observations), but my brain won't process at the moment so...
( PIC SPAM!!!> <a href= )

It take an awful lot to get a double take in that town.

Especially by the natives.

<lj-cut text="Unless, of course, you're my son....">



I've got to get a closer picture of that hair...oh, my gods.  :)  When the greeter at FAO Schwarz asks YOU to have a picture snapped with you, I think it is fair to say you've arrived.  Liam even (incredibly grudgingly) informed his brother that he's "got cred."  Still thinks he's a freak, though.

I didn't get many pictures today (or on this trip, actually) because my photographer was in NC--boo hiss.  I'll upload the ones I have later.

Ashe has decided that gel, hair spray, and canned colored hair spray are his friends these days (that hole in the ozone layer right about Byram, NJ?  My youngest's fault).

It was just funny.  On the way in, Geralyn told Ashe that no one was likely to look twice, because...that's just New York.

Ummm...WRONG!

It wasn't constant or excessive, but enough that she and I were both thanking the gods that Derk had a class.  :)  Ashe, of course, was loving it and Liam kept muttering "I still think you're a freak."

We wandered around Chinatown. I got a really cool shirt for Liam, a red enamelled dragon ring for Ashe, a gorgeous burnt velvet scarf for me (and refrained on purchasing the Hello Kitty toilet seat just to be evil)  and a sushi coffee mug and refrigerator magnet for Kent (he's cleaning up on this trip!  Good thing his birthday is in a couple of weeks!).  We went for dim sum.  It was good, but don't ask me what I ate, because I couldn't tell y'all what must of it was.  'Twas good, though. They got to go on their first subway ride (from Chinatown to FAO Schwarz).

Ashe was thrilled that he got to take the Q because "that's my favorite letter."

Oh, that boy....

So, here he is, charging around the city in that outfit with that hair, pleased as punch that he now has a dragon ring AND a snake ring.  AND a new Star Wars lego set (the last part of his birthday gift from me and Kent.  I vetoed the $400 Death Star because, even if I HAD the money, that would be going home with mommy,  Although I WOULD pay him to put it together). 

It was a really, really good day, and has been a good trip.  Too short, as usual...but it is what it is.

I'm staying in Newark tomorrow night.  The boys can't stay with me (and could they GET BACK HERE already????  I know they have to pack overnight bags ad feed animals but...yeesh) since they have school Monday.  Since my flight is at 6:30, I figured it might make more sense to take a cab, so I got a (hella cheap) room less than 2 miles from the airport.  Don't want to inconvenience anyone.  I've yet to find many people who like getting up ay that hour, myself included.

Besides, that gets me back to NC in time to see Kent before he leaves for work.  Beats the hell out of sitting around an airport in New Jersey, feeling miserable.

Liam is almost as tall as I am.

Allow me to repeat that: Liam. Is. Almost. As. Tall. As. I. Am.


AUUUUUUGH!  He's <i>twelve</i> fercrissakes!!!!!!!!

Ashe showed up with multicolored spiked hair (pics to follow).  I am so glad he's getting to let his freak flag fly.  We had total strangers compliment his hair (much to his brother's--and father's--chagrin) and he just beamed.

I managed to forget my toothbrush, my hairbrush AND socks.  But I DID remember Ashe's Deady the Bear, all of the Dragon*Con swag for the boys, all of the Halloween candy that J made me , etc etc etc.

AND I had a stowaway: Mr. Bunny.  Kent didn't want me to sleep alone.  :)

He's getting rewarded (and I am getting good girlfriend points for THE REST OF MY LIFE).  What is cooler than a Steelers Mr. Potato Head?

A Steelers lawn gnome.  No, really.

Which may mean he will ignore the fact that I am also bringing home a 2010 Dr. Horrible calendar.  ;)  Sorry, but I have to maintain the home decor balance between geeky girly and sports bar.

Dinner for the birthday boy tonight, and tomorrow....watch out, NYC!!!!!!