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I want to thank all of y'all for the love and support and sympathy.  It means so much to me.  I'm actually okay...except for the moments when I'm not.

I had a vivid dream last night of Granma and Grandpa in the old house.  Granma and I were in the kitchen.  The little 9 inch television was on, the hometown news station playing.  I was wrapping her sweaters in grocery bags to pack.  She hollered "Richard, get moving and kiss your grandgirl!  We have to go!"

He came in, kissed me on the top of my head and told me to be good.  I started to grab their bags to carry them out to the car and Granma stopped me.

"Alicia Marie, you'll hurt yourself.  Grandpa's got them."  Then she took my hand and said "Why don't you settle in and make yourself some toast. We're going to be gone a while.  Stay for a bit and lock up.  Just put the key under the mat if you need to come back."

Is it possible to simultaneously feel like your heart is being ripped out of your chest and comforted?

Stupid brain.

But there's a lot of good.  I wish I had enough memory to name names, but a lot of packages and cards from holiday_wishes and various lovely friends have shown up yesterday and today.  i wish I could remember everyone so I could thank all of y'all individually..and for the ones that came earlier.  My only decorations this year have been the cards, because I haven't been able to bring myself to put up a tree.  But...wow!  My friends are a strange and festive bunch!  <3

Thank you.  Each and every one.  And, honestly, tea and socks and candy are the best thing in the world for me right now.  <3 <3 <3

My college buddy sent me a little something, too.  I've read that cardinals can be seen as a sign of a loved one checking in on you from the other side.  One of the things in the package was a tiny journal with cardinals printed all over it.

We're both witchy types.  I don't think the Universe made a mistake with her choice.  <3

I got to save the day today for Olivia (hey.  Her words, not mine).  Her daughter has to spend tomorrow and Friday with her father's parents, so they did presents here today.  One of them was a Monster High doll head thingie like the Barbie style doll head I had back in the day.  Only THIS one is in the most impossible (and, frankly, kinda creepy.  But I guess that's the point) pieces of packaging I've ever encountered.  Olivia banged on the back door with a crying Lily in tow and said "Can you do this, or do we need to find a chainsaw?"

I swear.  I understand presentation and all that, but what is the point of packaging WITHIN packaging that requires a steak knife and a nail file?  Oy.  But the day was saved, and Lily is happy.  That's the real point.

And now I know she likes Monster High, so I can indulge my fondness for it and pass it on to her.  I see buying many stickers in my future.

Sorry, Liv.

In other news, I think I'll survive.  'Cuz, ya know, I get by with a little help from my friends.

Love y'all.


( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 23rd, 2015 10:32 pm (UTC)
:) what an amazing dream! You're so lucky to have had that. Definitely them visiting/reassuring you! I often see my grandma in dreams and she looks wonderful and is happy... Comforting and so sad, you're right. ((Hugs again))
Dec. 23rd, 2015 11:14 pm (UTC)
Dec. 24th, 2015 12:15 am (UTC)
I got 2 Cardinal themed gifts this year from my work secret Santa. One red bird is my aunt. The other is my Birthfather. Not a coincidence. That's actually a way cool dream in a way.
Dec. 24th, 2015 02:34 am (UTC)

My brother once bought my daughter a toy cash register that required a knife and a screwdriver to get out of the packaging. It was literally screwed to the box. This wasn't even a fancy item. I guarantee it cost less than 15 dollars.
Dec. 24th, 2015 11:00 am (UTC)
That was a wonderful, yet sad dream.... It is weird to be sad and comforting at the same time....

I think cardinals are a Catholic thing, too. I have one that has visited me and stared at me for a long, long time....

Thinking of you during this time....
Dec. 24th, 2015 04:04 pm (UTC)
Dec. 25th, 2015 03:13 pm (UTC)
What an amazing dream. Many hugs and condolences here, too.
Dec. 27th, 2015 01:01 am (UTC)
I'm sorry I missed the initial post about your Grandpa's passing. My heart goes out to you. <3
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )