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when your uterus rolls a d20

Obviously, there is some (non-graphic) cis female stuff about to follow.   Feel free to skip.

I know I'm in the early stages of menopause, but 14 DAYS between cycles!?!?!?  Seriously?   Where's my nice lunar cycle?  Where's 28 days?


That *does* explain the sore boobs and my desire to antagonize people on FB.  And the obsessive listening to John Denver's Greatest Hits.

What?  We all have our vices.

It was a nice, quiet weekend.  Sometimes you need to just risk your butt taking root on the sofa, cuddle, and eat delivery food.

But I am STILL not happy with my body.


( 24 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 1st, 2016 02:57 am (UTC)
Ack, I remember those days :( Mine would boomerang from roughly 14-18 days to over 30 days then to maybe 10 days, 14 if I lucked out. I always had stuff on me just in case it decided to make a surprise appearance.

The good news is that it eventually evens out and the intervals start becoming longer...and longer...and longer...

Feb. 1st, 2016 03:11 am (UTC)
Hello! I am the new person.

And yes, menopause is a bitch. But someday, it will be over.
Feb. 1st, 2016 01:32 pm (UTC)
Hi! Sorry to introduce you to my journal this way. :)

That's kind of how it rolls around here.
Feb. 1st, 2016 03:18 am (UTC)
I (pushing 50) had a few months of no periods with occasional little hot flashes. Then back to regular shark week.

Rarely had problematic periods, and got nicer and prettier while on them. When menopause finally kicks in full time, I seriously believe I will be a FUCKIN GODDESS!!!

Feb. 1st, 2016 03:52 am (UTC)
I'm sorry you're not feeling yourself. Sometimes being a lady sucks.
Feb. 1st, 2016 04:52 am (UTC)
14 days is really inconvenient, but it's like a twofer. Once on the full moon, once on the new moon...yeah there's no way to make that sound better. 14 days sucks.

I was first introduced to John Denver in high school. We sang this arrangement of Annie's Song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPt8VX0QeIY
Feb. 1st, 2016 06:10 am (UTC)
Welcome to peri-menopause.

Yeah...that's about how it goes. It happened to me, and then I would skip months.

I'm done now -- have not seen a period in a couple of years, and I'll be 51 in March.

I love not getting it.
Feb. 1st, 2016 07:07 am (UTC)
Bah how annoying! My body did that too and on a regular basis. After several tries with hormones etc I ended up using Nuva Ring again and it stopped (of course). The last two months I've stopped with Nuva Ring and my body went back to 24 and now 27 days. Yay! I hope yours behaves in the future too.
Feb. 1st, 2016 10:08 am (UTC)
My ovaries still work... Oh the pain yesterday and the answer why I wanted to sleep with every handsome man possible!!! The end!!!
Feb. 1st, 2016 10:41 am (UTC)
Uhg that's annoying. Here I was thinking that peri-menopause/early menopause would lenghten your cycles, not make them ultrashort!?
Feb. 1st, 2016 11:15 am (UTC)
Sympathy! My postnatal periods are crazy and annoying.
Feb. 1st, 2016 01:20 pm (UTC)
You're sure it's the menopause..?
Feb. 1st, 2016 01:27 pm (UTC)
Oh yeah. My body apparently signed up for the deluxe kit, complete with hot flashes AND zits at the same time (I had flawless skin during my teen years. It's a little humiliating to buy pimple cream in your early 40s).

I thought I was way too young until I realized my mother started when I was in college, which would have put her in her early 40s. I had just thought she was extra batshit crazy.
Feb. 1st, 2016 01:35 pm (UTC)
So you're definitely not pregnant..?
Feb. 1st, 2016 01:42 pm (UTC)
Not even a remote chance. I have an IUD, and I'm fairly certain the spousebeast is sterile. I mean, he's a 55 year old tomcat and never managed to get anyone pregnant? I think his hardcore partying days killed those little swimmers long ago.
Feb. 5th, 2016 08:17 am (UTC)
Very possibly!
Feb. 1st, 2016 02:15 pm (UTC)
The sounds like a bucket full of fun! Said no one ever.

My uterus is already whacked out half the time anyway so I don't know why menstruating women bang on about wanting to hit menopause so it stops. Hello, it's not a light switch, people.
Feb. 1st, 2016 02:48 pm (UTC)
mine's doing it too. contemplating going back on BC after 10 years off just to even it back out a little.
Feb. 1st, 2016 03:38 pm (UTC)
Oh, I sympathize with you. I'm done, but I remember those days too. They suck, no two ways about it. I never got down to 14, but I did go as low as 20 days between (and then often would get something like 34 days next).

I hope you feel less awful soon!
Feb. 1st, 2016 03:43 pm (UTC)

Ugh, I couldn't even imagine.  My periods have always sucked (in my teens I would sometimes literally just lay around on the bathroom floor because it felt nice and cool), but I have always looked forward to menopause because I thought that meant the end of all that ... it sounds like maybe it's not as simple as I thought :o

Feb. 1st, 2016 07:14 pm (UTC)
oh noes, poor you.... :/
Feb. 1st, 2016 11:07 pm (UTC)
Ugh, fourteen days in between? That sucks.

I'm currently on the Implanon and while it's suppose to prevent me from having a period a lot, I had a period for almost a month (without breaks) when I was a month into having the Implanon. It was brutal. Luckily, I didn't have the cramping like I did pre-Implanon and pre-kids. Still, it sucks to menstrate that long
Feb. 2nd, 2016 02:35 am (UTC)
You fill up my senses
Like a night in a forest
Like the mountains in springtime
Like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert
Like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses
Come fill me again
Come, let me love you
Let me give my life to you
Let me drown in your laughter
Let me die in your arms
Let me lay down beside you
Let me always be with you
Come, let me love you
Come love me again
Let me give my life to you
Come, let me love you
Come love me again
You fill up my senses
Like a night in a forest
Like the mountains in springtime
Like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert
Like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses
Come fill me again

Ahem. Sorry. I couldn't resist. :)

I hate my body right now. I'm still about 28-29 days, but then BAM! It's like a floodgate. Sigh. I'm about to get intimate with a laser to solve that. *snugs*
Feb. 2nd, 2016 03:55 am (UTC)
I feel like obsessive listening to John Denver would be one of the bonuses of this life phase, but that's just me.
( 24 comments — Leave a comment )