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I couldn't figure out why I've felt like something was off today until I looked at the calendar.

Oh, yeah.  Ash Wednesday.  For the first time in my life, I won't be quizzed on what I'm giving up for Lent, or get scolded for joking "Catholicism."  Ouch.

I talked to Granma a while this morning (and wondered if I shouldn't be talking to my shrink about the amount of times a week I talk to an urn the size of a plastic Easter egg) and promised I'd play nice with mother, Great-aunt Aggie, and Steph for the next 40 days, but I might need help.

And I thought the year that I gave up chocolate AND caffeine looked bleak.

That was quite a 40 days.  Grandpa was exempt, because he hadn't joined the Church yet.  Instead, he got to live with his wife, daughter, and 2 granddaughters detoxing from sugar and caffeine...AT THE SAME TIME.

Who really suffered there?

This angst strikes me every year, despite the fact I left the Church long ago.  I'm not even sure it is religious so much as missing family and the way the holidays used to mark our years.  I don't have that any more.

And, for all that's a good thing, I actually found myself getting a little jealous of my little sister today.  She posted on FB about how there is a Torrid opening up in the "big" mall the next town over, and she and mother were going to have a "girls day" after payday.  She invited friends along, and it's going to be so much fun and they're going to lunch and and and...

I sulked in front of the computer for a good five minutes.

Thankfully, I took a step back and realized my issue was mainly the fact that I haven't done a girls day in forever.  And, much as I claim to hate malls, I love window shopping.  Always have.  Doesn't really matter where.  I just like LOOKING at stuff.

In more cheerful news, I think I'm on my way to becoming "that neighbor."  I got cute black cat and bat window clings for the screen door for Halloween...and just left them up.  (A witch needs a familiar, and since I'm allergic to cats....)  Last week, I found lady bugs with hearts and little red, pink, and white hearts.  So I just put those up as well.

The spousebeast didn't even notice until I pointed it out and said "Just wait until March and the shamrocks come out."

He just shook his head and said "At least you don't decorate a tree in the front yard every holiday."

He doesn't quite get it.  THAT requires changing out ornaments.  This just means adding stuff.  :)  Although I may take everything down for Pride and completely re-do the door.  I wonder where I can get rainbow window clings?  If I can find some I like, I'll just leave those up year 'round.

Hey, since our apartment is a little hard to find, that would insure we wouldn't be missed, right?


( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 10th, 2016 08:15 pm (UTC)
Grandpa must have been a saint.
Feb. 10th, 2016 10:09 pm (UTC)
Oh, he was. The first time my parents split up and we moved in with my grandparents, he not only had us to deal with, he also had his mother and his mother-in-law living under the same roof.

I think that's why he went prematurely hard of hearing. ;)
Feb. 11th, 2016 12:20 pm (UTC)
A wise man.
Feb. 10th, 2016 08:39 pm (UTC)
I just had this sort of vision of my Nana and Grampa's house, transported to the afterlife, with Nana and my assorted friend's Grandmas hanging out at the kitchen table drinking coffee and the Grandpas all hanging out in the workshop in the garage, tinkering and talking and sneaking the occasional smoke or beer. It makes me absurdly happy. <3

Also, WHERE did you find the lady bug sticky thing? Lady bugs are my thing almost as much as Coyotes and Dolphins are (I had a childhood trickster moment gone awry with ladybugs) and I'd love to find something to put up and smile over. :)
Feb. 10th, 2016 10:10 pm (UTC)
That's a beautiful vision! <3

I found the window clings at Walgreens. Only $1.99.
Feb. 10th, 2016 10:00 pm (UTC)
I'm not even sure it is religious so much as missing family and the way the holidays used to mark our years. I don't have that any more.

I miss this about my family too. Church was always a part in some way. We used to celebrate holidays and birthdays FOR REAL. Now, it's a miracle if we see family once per year. :(

Also, re: sister's Facebook post... I'm certain that 90% of what people post on FB isn't even real. Don't be too jealous. I'm sure it's not all sunshine and lollypops. My sister used to pull that crap on me too. Jerks!
Feb. 11th, 2016 04:20 pm (UTC)
We used to do church and big family meals on holidays. I REALLY miss the times in the kitchen when I would lay low, make the fruit salad, and let the adults bicker around me.

My sister's post is probably truthful. It just means mom is off her meds again and is playing Lady Bountiful. And Steph is trying to make the best of the fact that she is 41 and living with her mother and creepy stepfather in a house that reeks of cat piss.

Feb. 10th, 2016 11:42 pm (UTC)
I like that you talk like that, though. Just reading about it is soothing to me. <3
Feb. 11th, 2016 04:11 pm (UTC)
Thank you.
Feb. 11th, 2016 01:31 am (UTC)
A million years ago, when I still lived in a college town, we had white Xmas lights up around our window all year. It was easy for the pizza delivery guy to find us. :)
Feb. 11th, 2016 10:07 am (UTC)
I can understand how you feel. With My grandma not living in her hime any more,mi don't have a home... My childhood home was never home to me...

If I can do my forty days, you can too... ❤️
Feb. 11th, 2016 04:21 pm (UTC)
Thanks, sweetie. We've got this. Love you. <3
Feb. 11th, 2016 03:26 pm (UTC)
I love the window cling designs, but do not have much luck keeping them on my windows
Feb. 11th, 2016 04:11 pm (UTC)
That's one of the few good things about the humidity in NC. :)
Feb. 11th, 2016 11:23 pm (UTC)
i have to spray my windows with water and then put the window clings up. and carefully dab up the extra water when i'm done. that tends to keep them up there well enough. but if i dont do it that way, they wont hardly stick at all.
Feb. 12th, 2016 12:38 am (UTC)
I wish I had the energy to decorate for every new little holiday. I used to, but now real life seems to just consume everything. The closest I get is this little decorative shelf/sconce just inside the entrance to my living room. I manage to change that little scenario in tune with the seasons every year.

I'd just like to find programmable decorative lights that I could keep up year-round. It's Valentine's Day? BOOM, they're pink. It's St. Patrick's? BOOM, they're green! Easter? BOOM, assorted pastels! Wouldn't that be freaking awesome?
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )