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I officially hate Youtube

Since the radio died (not like there are any good stations around here, anyway.  And if there are, I damn sure can't find them), I use Youtube more often than not for music in the mornings.  Because I felt more masochistic than usual after a night of dreams of Granma, I pulled up Elvis Costello's "Veronica."

I bought Spike when it first came out.  I fell in love with the song.  In my weird way, I wanted Granma to know that my music wasn't ALL bad (as far as she was concerned, most of it was noise.  And The Smiths were whiny.  But she liked Mission UK, which leads me to believe she didn't listen to lyrics much).  But she liked "Veronica."  She thought it was pretty.  And she LOVED the video.  She said he must be "a nice young man"  (the highest praise you could get from her) who obviously loved his grandmother.  So she'd occasionally let me play the tape while we made supper.

I never knew we'd be living that song eventually.  That last afternoon we had together, when she thought I was Margaret (her older sister who died when I was 5) and we held hands and sang "Ring Aroun' A-Rosie" I could NOT get "Veronica" out of my head.  It was like my brain was on split screen.  Half there, being Margaret, half outside myself, because I knew this was the last.

So, after listening to Veronica and crying my eyes out, there were the usual recommended videos.

First up?  La Costa.  She's Tanya Tucker's sister.  We had the 8 track The Very Best of LaCosta and wore it out on our trips cross country when I was a kid.  Granma looked for YEARS for another copy of that.

I had a Molly Grue moment.  Just pure anger.  That unicorn that I've been searching for for years shows up NOW?  When I can't call and say that I found the music.  That I can find a way to download it and she'll have it again.

WHEN I WAS IN FUCKING OHIO AND COULD HAVE DOWNLOADED IT AND BROUGHT IT TO HER!?!?!?

I really need to get out of this headspace.  I just ccan't.

Comments

yshaloo
Feb. 11th, 2016 03:18 pm (UTC)
some days the internet gods are cruel

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mac_arthur_park
The fucking YARN FAIRY!

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