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There are some things you just shouldn't ask me.

Makeup tips.  How to walk in heels.  The proper way to prepare an artichoke.  Just not my skill set.

Another of these is lingerie.  The ex was all about it--hell, it was pretty much mandatory--and one of the first things I did when we split up was burn EVERYTHING.  (Pro tip:  Walmart lingerie is fucking flammable.  Stay away from candles!)

An old college buddy hit me up for advice today.  She's in a new-ish relationship (+/- 6 months) after being single for about a decade and wants something to "knock his socks off."

I hemmed and hawed, offered the usual suggestions, and got the dreaded, "Well, what do you wear?  I mean, what is something that just drives him wild?"

*sigh*  If her man doesn't find a Kiss 'Destroyer' tank top and black lace boy shorts sexy, I don't know what to do...

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velvetechos
Feb. 13th, 2016 04:10 pm (UTC)
Hehehehe, aside from the random gothy "technically this is an undergarment but it works as regular clothes too" phase I went through in high school/early 20s, I can't pick out lingerie either!
a2zmom
Feb. 13th, 2016 04:41 pm (UTC)
I figured out how to walk in heels (2 1/2" shoe, 3" boots) after my feet magically shrank to pre-pregnancy size and I had to buy all new shoes.

I have never figured out the lingerie thing either.
weebleswobble
Feb. 13th, 2016 07:20 pm (UTC)
i'm out for advice in the makeup dept or the high heels department too. i no longer own any lingerie. even back when i did, it seemed ridiculous to put something fancy on so it could be ripped right off. and i absolutely abhor thongs/buttfloss.
corellian_sugar
Feb. 15th, 2016 12:55 am (UTC)
This post spoke volumes to me. My idea of make up is just trying to cover my rosacea so I don't scare small children and the populace in general and high heels are just painful.

I'm just not a girly girl. Lingerie? I have one short plain blue nightie my mother got me for Christmas one year, but I still opt to sleep in oversized horror or rock tees.
twissie
Feb. 15th, 2016 08:39 pm (UTC)
I like lingerie, but then again, I've always enjoyed dressing up. And it's definitely for me, not anyone else. I wouldn't know what to say if anyone asked me for tips like that, tho, hahahahaha.
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