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There are some things you just shouldn't ask me.

Makeup tips.  How to walk in heels.  The proper way to prepare an artichoke.  Just not my skill set.

Another of these is lingerie.  The ex was all about it--hell, it was pretty much mandatory--and one of the first things I did when we split up was burn EVERYTHING.  (Pro tip:  Walmart lingerie is fucking flammable.  Stay away from candles!)

An old college buddy hit me up for advice today.  She's in a new-ish relationship (+/- 6 months) after being single for about a decade and wants something to "knock his socks off."

I hemmed and hawed, offered the usual suggestions, and got the dreaded, "Well, what do you wear?  I mean, what is something that just drives him wild?"

*sigh*  If her man doesn't find a Kiss 'Destroyer' tank top and black lace boy shorts sexy, I don't know what to do...

Comments

gonzo21
Feb. 13th, 2016 10:57 am (UTC)
It's funny how programmed some women are that they Must Always Have Sexy New Underwear To IMpress Boy. It's like... boy don't care if he gets to touch what's in it.
mac_arthur_park
Feb. 13th, 2016 01:01 pm (UTC)
There are some guys out there who consider it a requirement.

Thankfully, I don't have any of those in my life anymore.
belleweather
Feb. 13th, 2016 02:37 pm (UTC)
This is why my boyfriend gets me in normal undies and my girlfriend gets the lingerie. :)
mimoiikit143
Feb. 14th, 2016 02:17 am (UTC)
This is hilarious because it's SO true.

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mac_arthur_park
The fucking YARN FAIRY!

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