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There are some things you just shouldn't ask me.

Makeup tips.  How to walk in heels.  The proper way to prepare an artichoke.  Just not my skill set.

Another of these is lingerie.  The ex was all about it--hell, it was pretty much mandatory--and one of the first things I did when we split up was burn EVERYTHING.  (Pro tip:  Walmart lingerie is fucking flammable.  Stay away from candles!)

An old college buddy hit me up for advice today.  She's in a new-ish relationship (+/- 6 months) after being single for about a decade and wants something to "knock his socks off."

I hemmed and hawed, offered the usual suggestions, and got the dreaded, "Well, what do you wear?  I mean, what is something that just drives him wild?"

*sigh*  If her man doesn't find a Kiss 'Destroyer' tank top and black lace boy shorts sexy, I don't know what to do...

Comments

mac_arthur_park
Feb. 13th, 2016 12:50 pm (UTC)
I would break an ankle. It sucks, because I used to be able to ROCK some 4 inch stillettos.

Now, I can roll an ankle on 1 inch kitten heels. Having kids royally fucks with your center of gravity.
changeling72
Feb. 16th, 2016 08:29 am (UTC)
Having kids royally fucks with most things, I believe...

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lji
mac_arthur_park
The fucking YARN FAIRY!

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