Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

it is over

FSVO over.

The package arrived today with my grandparents' intermingled ashes.  This was a plastic bag, unlike Granma's urn, so it was....more immediate, I guess?  I'd never actually seen her ashes; this was RIGHT THERE, in my hand, granma and grandpa.  Nowhere to hide, no pretty gilt and black enamel urn.  Just them.  G wrote "Richard" and "Frances" with the old school heart with an arrow through it on the package, which was perfect.  That's the sort of thing Grandpa would have doodled, because he was always a big ol' dork where Granma was concerned.

It was beautiful and powerful and painful.  And peaceful.

She also sent me Granma's rosewood rosary from Medjugorje.  She always carried it in her purse, and Grandpa slept with it after she died.  That was one of the few things I was really torn up about not being able to find.  I love it as a little girl.  I thought it was the most magical thing ever.  It still smells like roses.

I have Grandpa's cross with a lock of her hair and a split ring with one of her rings.  The leather thong smells like soap and aftershave and him.  Every time I turn my head, I expect to see him over my shoulder.

So this is what closure feels like, I guess.


( 21 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 6th, 2016 12:17 am (UTC)
i'm glad you have these wonderful things to remember them by. *hugs*
Mar. 6th, 2016 01:27 am (UTC)
Mar. 6th, 2016 03:25 am (UTC)
<3 thinking of you
Mar. 6th, 2016 04:11 am (UTC)
It is so hard.

Are you going to put these things away, or are you going to display them?

I am curious. I feel a ritual is in order, but am not sure what.

BTW, I still miss my grandparents. I have several items of theirs. Some I display, some I use (I have two wool blankets I love), and others are stored.

I'm sorry for your loss.
Mar. 6th, 2016 01:46 pm (UTC)
They are on the altar I created when I received the urn with Granma's ashes. Once I find a proper urn to put their together, there will be a ritual.

If it was just Grandpa, I would put him in a Planters peanut jar, because those were his favorite things in the WORLD and he was not a fussy guy (G suggested a paint can, which he also would love). Since his ashes are mingled with Granma's, though, I'll have to come up with something more standard. I do NOT feel like getting thwapped upside the head from the Other Side.

After all, she always said if she died first and Grandpa remarried, she was going to sit on the end of the bed and haunt him. The woman didn't play. :)
Mar. 6th, 2016 05:14 pm (UTC)
she was going to sit on the end of the bed and haunt him. The woman didn't play. :)

You go Granma! I like her.
Mar. 6th, 2016 04:46 am (UTC)
How sweet to have such meaningful things to remember them by.
Mar. 6th, 2016 04:51 am (UTC)
Hugs. You have some treasures there.

Mar. 6th, 2016 06:59 am (UTC)
Mar. 6th, 2016 07:41 am (UTC)
I glad you have these things to remember them by.
Mar. 6th, 2016 12:13 pm (UTC)
Mar. 6th, 2016 12:21 pm (UTC)
Mar. 6th, 2016 08:04 pm (UTC)
over is over
Closure! Folks in my family are still having the conversations about coming to terms with their childhoods and why things were as they were.

I just picked the things of my g'ma that I would like to have. (A portrait my mother painted of her and my g'pa, a framed needlepoint celebrating her 50 years of marriage.) I am not sure someone with a better claim won't get them from me, but at least I know they will be wanted and not lost in the chaos!
Mar. 6th, 2016 10:49 pm (UTC)
What are you going to do with them?
Mar. 7th, 2016 01:58 am (UTC)
*offers hugs*
Mar. 7th, 2016 04:43 am (UTC)
These are the hardest things we have to do, yet they are the most rewarding. *hugs you bunches*

You'll know when you find the right receptacle for the ashes. <3
Mar. 7th, 2016 05:15 pm (UTC)
Oh, man, I'm sorry to just be getting here to give my condolences. It's sounds like your grandparents loved each other tremendously and that they had a big, positive impact on your life. You and they were so lucky to have all that.

It's good to hear the story of you getting the rosary back. I'm so glad to have my grandmother's rings, and a hat my grandfather wore and his poker chips. We played poker almost every night. But anything is better than nothing, and you'll always have the memories in your heart.

And yeah, seeing my biomother's ashes was unsettling and depressing. I feel you there.

Take care. HUGS!
Mar. 7th, 2016 09:16 pm (UTC)
Those are some lovely things to have, I'm glad they got to you
Mar. 8th, 2016 03:49 pm (UTC)
just sending you a hug
Mar. 9th, 2016 02:14 am (UTC)
My grandma is buried, but I have her bedspread that was on her bed for as long as I can remember and her cross (which I wear on occasion bc even though I made all the sacraments, I don't really practice catholocism anymore) the bedspread really means the most to me though. I'm thinking of spraying it with her perfume

*big big hugs *

Edited at 2016-03-09 02:15 am (UTC)
Mar. 9th, 2016 11:55 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry for your loss. That all sounds so beautiful, and sad, and beautiful.
( 21 comments — Leave a comment )