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I have tickets to RuPaul's Drag Race Extravaganza for this Sunday.  The original plan was to go with Santa Pete.  Life behaved as life will, and I found myself with an extra ticket and no ride to Durham.

I will admit that Pete is starting to get on my last nerve.  I hate to be vague, but he created a situation here that is going to cost money we don't have to fix, and he seems oblivious.

"Oh, just take care of it like I did."

That's easy to say when you are sitting on a 2 million dollar trust fund (yes, really).  I'm afraid this may break our friendship for good.

*deep sigh*  Anyway, found myself in possession of an extra ticket.  Soooo....

I get to go to a drag show with Mark!  *bouncebouncebounce*  I called him up, offered a free ticket in exchange for driving us there and back (and Cuban food.  Bonus!) and we're going to have Casa del Fag Date Night Extravaganza!  If he'll wear the gold lame shirt we got on our last thrifting trip remains to be determined.

[He totally channels Peter Allen in that shirt.  It's hot.  Okay, it is for me.  Did I mention that Mark and I have a complicated relationship?]

I feel bad, because this will be a much better experience for me.  The last few times I've been to stuff with Pete, I ended up babysitting him because he wasn't being treated like royalty and got butthurt about it.  I want to go to something and just enjoy it, ya know?  And, damnit, this is my birthday present.  I'm no princess, but I know that Kent and Mark will let me enjoy the experience and not have to worry about them.

Hopefully, I can wash away the guilt by then.

This ties into something I was thinking about at work today.  Lord knows I had time to think, ruminate, reminisce, contemplate revolution, wonder why Uggs with sundresses are a thing and...y'all get the picture.

I keep saying "I need girl time."    That's not actually the case.  I need time without people who aren't Kent and Pete. How do I phrase that in an unhurtful way?  The time I want isn't gender driven. I just realized that today.  I want time where I am not the caretaker.  I want to go out and be irresponsible.  Or, honestly, just not worry about what someone else's needs.  It's not always my job all the time, is it?

I'm envious of my friends who declare a birthday week (or month).  Maybe someday I'll do that.


( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 18th, 2016 01:51 pm (UTC)
If you call it a need for "girl time" then K and P will not feel so hurt by the idea of you needing "others."
If something Pete did will cost you money, then it is not unreasonable to let him foot the bill.
Sadly, it is hard to get a rich guy to part with $$$...
May. 18th, 2016 02:07 pm (UTC)
"That's not actually the case. I need time without people who aren't Kent and Pete. How do I phrase that in an unhurtful way? The time I want isn't gender driven. I just realized that today. I want time where I am not the caretaker. I want to go out and be irresponsible."

you hit that totally on the head. I never really thought about the gendered nature of that comment because I (and I think most women) get what you're really saying, but hrm.
May. 18th, 2016 03:15 pm (UTC)
If Pete is truly oblivious, then just sit him down and explain that his actions of XYZ are going to take a toll on you that you can't handle, and that he needs to step up. (God, I can't imagine how hard that would be but better than losing a friendship over something that might have been avoided? At least this way, he's got all the info and makes the choice to come through or not).

As for needing time away from loved ones? Oh *hells* yeah, do I get that. I love Cassie, but we've lived in a one bedroom apartment together for 3+ years, and the only time we're away from one another is when I house-sit once a year or am in the hospital (not counting her working, of course).

**huggles** for if, and when, you need them.
May. 18th, 2016 06:12 pm (UTC)
You have nothing to feel guilty about. Pete created this situation, not you. Go, have your fun, and when it's over? Think about how you want your relationship with Pete to go moving forward. Do you want to continue to be surrogate granddaughter/caregiver? Are you getting as much as you're giving emotionally in this relationship? Is it time to let it do a slow fade?

And yeah, it would be great if you could hit him with the clue-by-four and get him to fix the financial mess he created - or at least get him to understand that you don't have a money tree to shake, the way he does. He may never get it though.

As for not-girl time? Other than calling it "me time" or "time alone with my friends", I got nothing.
May. 18th, 2016 11:23 pm (UTC)
I want to go out and be irresponsible. Or, honestly, just not worry about what someone else's needs.
Every responsible person should have one of those from time to time !
May. 19th, 2016 02:29 am (UTC)
Come see me. I have some 16 days left in Savannah, and after that, a goodly while in MA. :)
May. 19th, 2016 09:05 am (UTC)
If that was me, I'd have split up with Pete or had a come to Jesus talk looooong ago. :-( Hope you get the kind of friends and friend time you need soon. <3
May. 19th, 2016 09:16 am (UTC)
I think girl time is unhurtful.... I used me time when I need to be away and to recharge!!!
May. 19th, 2016 10:04 am (UTC)
'I need Princess time' - nothing to do with gender, you just need to be able to feel free to indulge YOU instead of kidsitting other peoples' needs.
May. 19th, 2016 01:05 pm (UTC)
He may be completely unaware that he's being a drain on you. Tell him.
May. 19th, 2016 11:07 pm (UTC)
Have fun! That show should be a blast. :)
May. 20th, 2016 02:02 pm (UTC)
This Pete guy sounds like a total selfish asshole honestly, I am sorry you are dealing with his behaviour. If he's put you out of pocket and he has that much money he should at least foot the bill for his mistakes. :/
May. 21st, 2016 11:34 pm (UTC)
I don't think it is hurtful to say you need time where you can relax! If Pete and Kent are always requiring caretaking, then it makes perfect sense that you need to spend time with others. Probably it would be good if they chose at least one day a week on which to not ask for any help and instead be a helper for you! You deserve that!
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )