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I'm tired, y'all.

Not just physically tired (although there is that, too.  Just because YOU have to get up at 6:30 to put in the truck order doesn't mean I should have to, too.  You're a grown ass man.  LEARN TO TURN OFF THE FUCKING ALARM CLOCK!  And it shouldn't require 2 and a half hours to get your shit together to go into work.  I don't expect everyone to be feet on the floor to out the door in under half an hour, but....yeesh.  And I am NOT the human equivalent of a snooze alarm).  Mentally, emotionally, spiritually...the whole variety pack.

I can't decide if I need a vacation at one of those swanky all-inclusive joints where I can just have cute people bring me fruity drinks and yummy food while I hang out (in a very well shaded spot with SPF 1000+ sunscreen) on the beach, or a month in some sort of cloister for pagan priestesses.  Or both.

Just tired, y'all.

And it's not "just" Orlando, and the way it has outed a bunch of Islamaphobic pro-gun bigots I used to call friends (I haven't gone on an unfriending spree or anything like that, but my heart is heavy and I find myself shaking my head.  A lot.  And two of those people are my niece and my oldest child!).

In the last week, I've had 6 different friends lose family members.  Two friends whose mothers have started chemo.  My SiL's bestie was diagnosed with cancer.  A dear friend and sorority sister has reported that the chemo isn't working any more, she's been denied admittance into an experimental drug trial, and has decided to just let whatever happens in the (likely less than a year) time she has left unfold as it will.

She's three years younger than I am.  She has a 12 year old daughter and an 8 year old stepson.

So, so fucking tired.

I'm trying to focus on positive things, but even my natural golden retriever, happy go lucky nature has its limits, ya know?


( 21 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 14th, 2016 10:46 pm (UTC)

These are nasty times.

Hang in there. It will get better. It has to.


Jun. 14th, 2016 11:09 pm (UTC)

I can't understand people who don't waken immediately for alarms. I really can't understand people who expect their partners to get them out of bed while they ignore the alarm.

The many tragedies of late are also so heartbreaking. I'm tempted to turn off the news until 2017.
Jun. 18th, 2016 10:48 am (UTC)
Unfortunately, I think I fostered his learned helplessness while unemployed. I felt guilty staying in bed while he went to work, so I always got up first, made coffee, yadda yadda yadda.

Now that I'm working again, it's a whole different ballgame.
Jun. 14th, 2016 11:18 pm (UTC)
I am sorry for all that.
And, for the world right now. (Not taking responsibility mind you. Just sorry it is this way...)

I hope it gets better for all!
Jun. 15th, 2016 01:43 am (UTC)
Facebook seems incredibly draining this week after Orlando on Sunday.
Jun. 15th, 2016 03:10 am (UTC)
I dropped one friend on FB, and I called out another friend pretty bluntly, over stupid posts over the Oando thing. If I'm hearing (1) anything except sympathy for the dead, and (2) blaming it on Islamic terrorists, I'm done with them.
Jun. 15th, 2016 03:54 am (UTC)
I do know about the limits...


I don't know how, but peace.
Jun. 15th, 2016 04:43 am (UTC)
*hugs* :(
Jun. 15th, 2016 09:23 am (UTC)
I know how you feel. I am bordering on that as well...
Jun. 15th, 2016 02:09 pm (UTC)
Rude. Though I am the sort of person who wakes up just before the alarm rings so I can turn it off and not bother anybody else. (And if I may gripe a little about my SO, she has left her alarm set for six for the past three days -- she set it on Monday and keeps forgetting to turn it off, so it keeps going off at six .. )
Jun. 18th, 2016 11:12 am (UTC)
The moment my feet hit the floor, I'm up. Since the alarm clock is across the room, you can imagine how that ends.
Jun. 15th, 2016 02:21 pm (UTC)
*hugs* It's so unbearable when all of this drama happens at once, but that's often how it happens.

I hope that you're able to find peace once everything settles down. No one should have to endure this much heartache and heartbreak all at once.
Jun. 15th, 2016 04:29 pm (UTC)
Thoughts go out to you - peace and love.
Jun. 15th, 2016 04:51 pm (UTC)
Jesus. I'm sorry you and those around you are going through so much. *hugs*
Jun. 15th, 2016 05:08 pm (UTC)
I think you need a hug. Unfortunately, I can only give a virtual one: ****HUUUUUUUUG**** I'm sending lots of love your way.
Jun. 15th, 2016 05:59 pm (UTC)
*hugs*. Hope things get better.
Jun. 15th, 2016 09:01 pm (UTC)
Jun. 16th, 2016 07:35 pm (UTC)
Mine too. I've been lending ears to people who've needed them. Did you hear an MP got shot and killed in her constituency? It's near where I live, so it's hit me very hard.
Jun. 18th, 2016 11:12 am (UTC)
That's terrible. :(
Jun. 18th, 2016 12:05 pm (UTC)
hugs ...
Jun. 18th, 2016 03:20 pm (UTC)
i despise people who let the alarm clock go off again and again and again while i'm trying to sleep. i get VERY crabby and start making threats. i am not a nice person when i'm woken up, especially if i'm woken up repeatedly. i think its unbelievably rude and inconsiderate to let the alarm clock keep going off when you know damn well someone else is TRYING to sleep.
( 21 comments — Leave a comment )