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LJI: Fear Is The Heart of Love

I'm good at this.  I learned at the hands of my father, my brothers, their friends.

You love this.  The trembling, the tears, the hands wound in my hair to force me to me knees.  I have been perfect for you from the beginning, honed by a thousand obscene hands.  Taught the ways of "love" while quaking in fear.

Why is the scene always the same?  If you love this so much, parade me in public.  You have the power.  Make me the spectacle you fantasize about, or do you know that this can only happen in filth, dirty straw beneath your boots and digging into my knees?

Would it make you feel shame, to have it known that fear is your aphodisiac?

"Tell me you love me."

The words are like bile, but I spit them out, knowing I will have to swallow later.

Or not.

If you hadn't stopped to laugh as I retched on the floor, this might have been a different story.  But fear has taught me that that is the moment to strike sure and true.

The story is written all over my face, my filthy dress, my hysterical sobbing.  "There's been an accident!  Please, help him!"

No one notices as I slip into the shadows, into her warm embrace.  "We got another one."

Here, with her, there is no fear.

Comments

( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
unmowngrass
Jan. 12th, 2017 05:26 pm (UTC)
Wow
mamculuna
Jan. 12th, 2017 05:45 pm (UTC)
Quite a story in so few words!
penpusher
Jan. 12th, 2017 06:25 pm (UTC)
A real gut-wrenching piece.
lilmissmagic71
Jan. 13th, 2017 01:37 am (UTC)
OOOOOOO! Sufficiently chilling and raw. Nicely done!
mac_arthur_park
Jan. 16th, 2017 06:03 pm (UTC)
Thank you.
michikatinski
Jan. 13th, 2017 03:33 am (UTC)
With her. ♥♥♥
mac_arthur_park
Jan. 16th, 2017 06:04 pm (UTC)
I figured you, more than anyone else, would get it. <3
michikatinski
Jan. 18th, 2017 03:43 am (UTC)
I hear every word. So much love for you, my friend.
adoptedwriter
Jan. 13th, 2017 05:45 pm (UTC)
Oh man! Very raw!
halfshellvenus
Jan. 15th, 2017 09:05 am (UTC)
Raw and unsettling, with so much truth for those who have been through this kind of abuse.
rayaso
Jan. 15th, 2017 03:55 pm (UTC)
Fabulous! You accomplished so much in so few words, with such stark, disturbing imagery.
mamas_minion
Jan. 16th, 2017 11:26 pm (UTC)
Amazing story and you were able to say so much with so little words.
alycewilson
Jan. 17th, 2017 01:15 am (UTC)
Shocking!
magazhchi
Jan. 17th, 2017 06:50 pm (UTC)

Disturbing. Very well written.

eternal_ot
Jan. 18th, 2017 07:29 am (UTC)
Wow! Strong content in few words.
my_name_is_jenn
Jan. 18th, 2017 11:00 pm (UTC)
Very well written. <3
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )