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Aw, jeez...really?

"Everything you've been posting recently is so angry and hurtful, and I know your [sic] not like this.  But you need to look into your heart and see how much your words hurt."

The message goes on for FOUR PAGES.  Because I posted a "Bob and Sally" meme on FB about how Sally feels betrayed by her friend voting for Trump.

I'm mean.  I'm angry.  Okay, I get the angry part.  Yeah, I am.  And fucking scared.  Terrified.  But mean?

I am now living in a space where I can pass.  I have the luxury of being a queer white woman in a heteronorminative (which I can never spell) relationship with a queer white male.  We're the cute couple who share a locker at work (and, seriously, how high school is that?) and check in with each other when one of us leaves for work when the other is still there. (Feel free to gag.  Lots of people do)  I'm much more out than the spousebeast is but, still...our risk level is pretty low.


But there's my youngest.  There's countless friends.  There's my auntie Shelia.

That's just the queer issue.  One branch of a very, very, VERY big tree.

And why am I wasting my time defending myself?  I stand by what I say/post.  And most of what I post has nothing to do with politics.
Gods, this is what sucks.  It's that desire to MAKE HER UNDERSTAND.  I love Monica.  I sat by her side while she lost her husband.  She sent me fuzzy pink footie pjs when I was not coping well with my new life in Chapel Hill.  That's what it boils down to, as far as I am concerned.  That's where I see us.

But I'm a big ol' meanie who is hurting her conserative feels because I am angry, hurt, dismayed and scared by what the current political climate is.

And now it is about religion (funny, I never get butthurt about your "keeping Christ in Christmas" posts.  DOES NO ONE USE THE SCROLL KEY BUT ME!?!?!?) and my attitude towards the military (still wracking my brain on where that came from.  I guess being passed around as a party favor between my father and his Marine buddies and having some strong words about that makes me anti military?  I thought it just made me anti child rapists in uniform)...and it keeps going on and on and on....

I need to ask myself if this is useful dialogue or do I just say "fuck off if you don't like it" and call it a day?  Is there a time card I can punch for "I tried"?

Speaking of time cards, the spousebeast picked mine up today and TA-DAH! he now understands why I am burnt the fuck out.  Also, I smoked his ass on the number of hours worked.  And the amount of overtime.  And holiday pay. (As obnoxiously cute and cuddly as we come across, we are both fiercely competitive, workwise.  Which is why the idea that so many people have suggested over the years of us having a reality show where we start a restaurant or food truck together is a bad, bad, BAD idea.)

Yeah, I'll be buying that ticket to see 'Hedwig and the Angry Inch' at the DPAC.  And I'll get a goooood seat.  I still want the Blackstar coverup for the tattoo on my hip, but the show is a limited opportunity and my hip ain't goin' nowhere.

I was a little surprised, because I thought I would be going alone.  Kent wants to go.  Yeah, I almost dropped over.  I had to drag him kicking and screaming to see 'Rent.'  He's starting to slowly warm up to musicals, as long as they are on stage.  Still have to win a dice roll to watch them on DVD.

Or, in the cse of things like 'Yentl,' buy  him enough of the right alcohol so he passes out peacefully.

Happy Friday, y'all!

Comments

( 19 comments — Leave a comment )
carlyinrome
Jan. 13th, 2017 04:31 pm (UTC)

Ugh. I've been in your place re: Facebook. You have bigger problems facing you than their fear of "the war on Christmas." I've stopped being polite about it.

kickthehobbit
Jan. 13th, 2017 05:16 pm (UTC)


I've found that, unfortunately, there's no reasoning with those people, and so I've taken to cutting them out of my life, or else not talking with them about anything "controversial" at all. I'm sorry that you find yourself at a familiar junction.
seaivy
Jan. 13th, 2017 06:11 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry you had that experience

I had people who used to email me like that
They have all gone somewhere else
I stay away from F-book
I don't want to be found

I can be choosey about my L J friends
I think you're one of the most interesting people on my list
I love reading you!
mac_arthur_park
Jan. 16th, 2017 01:39 am (UTC)
Thank you! I really appreciate that!
praxedes_osaka
Jan. 13th, 2017 07:21 pm (UTC)
Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. I love how some people feel the need to control the content on their FB feed by scolding the poster, especially when it's personal stuff. (I stopped using FB years ago because I have way too many conservatives in the family on Dad's side, and then the constant hypocrisy...) I'm so exhausted by fear and anxiety, and at least the people I talk to understand why.

Also, I am mad-jealous about you going to see "Hedwig and the Angry Inch." SO JEALOUS. @u@ You've earned it!!
kita0610
Jan. 13th, 2017 08:39 pm (UTC)
Yeah, and conservatives call us snowflakes. What a bunch of bullshit. There's no reasoning with willful ignorance I'm afraid.
liminal_space
Jan. 13th, 2017 10:51 pm (UTC)

This. So much this.

fragbert
Jan. 14th, 2017 09:32 am (UTC)
Thirded. You can't use logic or reason with people who let memes on Facebook affect them.
richaarde
Jan. 13th, 2017 11:51 pm (UTC)

I only had one problem with a hard-line Trumpanzee on FB, and that was only because he started spewing racist nonsense. Whatever, I can find the Unfriend and Block buttons.

opakele
Jan. 14th, 2017 12:04 am (UTC)
I can't FB for this very reason. I have too many relatives who voted for Trump.

I do not suffer fools quietly and some things are better left unsaid.
fbhjr
Jan. 14th, 2017 01:53 am (UTC)
Things on FB are going crazy for a lot of folks.
I'm thinking of just dropping it for a while...
gauloise
Jan. 14th, 2017 07:48 am (UTC)
In my experience, it's very difficult to 'make people understand' because at this point, if they're the ones talking about hurt feelings and are complicit in getting Trump elected... well, that's a pretty warped way to view the world.


A calm rational email where you ask your friend to consider the issues structrually and institutionally instead of personally might be an idea. And I would not be afraid in any way to state that if she's willing to accept Trump, to allow fascism in the front door and into the living room under the pretence of 'respecting peaceful transition of power' then she is propping up race hate, discrimination and bluntly, a rise of power that has as much danger as Hitler. People who are happy to let Trump get on, people who voted Trump do not get to complain about hurt feelings. They are the power-holders here.

I empathise that you have a good friend in this person but, I suppose I would just be asking myself - do I want to be friends with someone who can just overlook the increased hate this regime will bring?
xjenavivex
Jan. 14th, 2017 08:49 am (UTC)

Hugs. I understand about friends and politics,and how you feel. Grrr at the letter.

meepalicious
Jan. 14th, 2017 10:00 am (UTC)
I unfriended someone from elementary school because she left me a comment that was probably about a single spaced page long saying basically what your friend said to you, with some other stuff about "purity signaling." At least we weren't close like you are with Monica.
lorigami
Jan. 14th, 2017 12:36 pm (UTC)
I'd be curious to know what she thought that meme was saying and what she felt was untrue about it. I mean, I'm not really curious, but I'd want to see her write it out. I'd want to see her have to explain it in her own words.
mac_arthur_park
Jan. 16th, 2017 01:41 am (UTC)
I tried opening up a dialogue, and...it failed. Miserably. I'm not going to unfriend her, but she's welcome to unfriend me if she wants.
nucleosides
Jan. 14th, 2017 12:56 pm (UTC)

I hate people who send messages like that. D:

millysdaughter
Jan. 17th, 2017 03:22 pm (UTC)
The only close relationship that does well on reality shows - I am thinking mostly of the Amazing Race, as that is the only one I ever followed for multiple seasons, but my theory is sound and should carry across the spectrum -- siblings are already well versed in "I will gladly slit your throat but I will always protect your back so nobody else can"
kk1raven
Jan. 26th, 2017 12:38 am (UTC)
I've reached the point where I think there's a huge gulf and probably unbridgeable between many Trump supporters and anti-Trump people. Studies have been done that show that "conservative" people see the world differently than "liberal" people. Change scares "conservatives". It seems like the extremists have been pushing a wedge into that gap, pushing people in the two groups further and further apart. It doesn't even seem possible to have a discussion with a lot of "conservatives" any more because they believe so many things that aren't true and aren't interested in hearing the truth. I mostly don't bother to try any more.
( 19 comments — Leave a comment )