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Feb. 7th, 2017

Had a nightmare last night that I had "infiltrated" this huge pro-Trump rally/campout/thingie (it was literally like Woodstock for Rethuglicans) and was sexually assaulted by the man himself.

Yeah, no watching the news for Alicia today.  Today's activism is radical self care in the form of watching many hours of The French Chef with Julia Child and Glee Season One (have I mentioned recently that the only thing I love more than the $1-2 scrubs at PTA Thrift are their $6 dvd box sets?) and playing with yarn.  It took me years to realize activism burnout actually is A Thing, and can get you in the most insidious ways.

Of course, Kent oh-so-helpfully pointed out that I'm at extra risk for burnout given the nature of my job.  He was trying to be sympathetic and encourage me to take care of myself...but, jeez, dude!  The phrasing was not good.

Yesterday was rough.  I had to help Ms. Stella B pack up her stuff to move because her daughter ran through all her money.  The poor woman was in tears; she didn't want to go.  And she didn't want her daughter or son to help her pack because "I have my wedding jewelry and if they find it they will take it."

And she's having to move in with her daughter?  Not good.  :(

I went to M's office (she handles all of the residents' financial affairs), and she's already on it.  She's contacted the appropriate authorities to look into financial elder abuse, and it looks like I may have to make a statement.  She didn't have any personal toiletries, so I got her some out of my own pocket (not looking for praise here.  What would you do if it were your own grandma and she needed lotion for dry, fragile skin?).  Human Services is also getting involved.

We don't have assigned seats in the dining room, but Ms. Stella always had "her" chair.  No one sat in it at lunch yesterday, and it's a prime bit of real estate (close to the television, so it's easier to see/hear).  That's a real sign of respect.

She always had a hankie on her.  She had a whole collection of old fashioned ones.  She gave one to me and said she'd miss me.  She told me to be good, and that she loves me.  I'm going to miss her.  <3

Why can't the difficult patients go somewhere else instead?  Like, starting with the one you can't get within arm's reach of because he goes to the Trump school of how you treat women?  (Although he's an equal opportunity offender.  Gender does not matter.  Even our visiting doc had to tell him he's a happily married man and HANDS OFF)

I think this new schedule will be good for me.  4 days on, three off.  Hell, with the chronic lateness of second shift, I could still possibly end up with overtime.  And this means I can stop looking for a second job, guilt free!

*sigh*  Really don't want to leave the house today, but I have to send our Christmas present back to The Patriarch.  He got us a sous vide thingie which has remained in the box because we don't have time for 18 hour bacon (no, seriously. The recipe calls to sous vide it for 18 hours--or maybe it was 8?--and then CRISP IT IN A HOT SKILLET FOR FIVE MINUTES.  Ummm....no).  Cue the panicked call to not use it because it can explode or catch fire or summon demons or something.  SO I'm sending it to him (unlike past in-laws of mine, he doesn't send invoice material or leave a price tag on it or anything like that) so he can send it back along with his.

And he's just going to send us a check for what he spent, which means we're going to get the Insta-Pot that we'd been hoping for when he'd hinted that we were getting a cool, expensive kitchen gadget that was going to change our lives.

I think he forgets that we're not retired, and live more like grad students than "real" adults.  Speed is a big consideration when we make food during the week, as is making *huge* quantities so it can be used for lunches or when we work separate shifts.  I want to further reduce the amount of ordering in that we do.  We do it once a month/every six weeks or so (we did last night, but that was a blessing, because I was exhausted), but I'd like to cut it back even further.  I'd rather money spent on food we don't make for ourselves go towards nice meals out, rather than ordering in because it's easier on a given day.

That said, I should probably get my ass in gear and get this done.

Comments

( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
dancingdragon3
Feb. 7th, 2017 01:36 pm (UTC)
Crap, I am sorry about the nightmare. That's awful :-/ Massive HUGS and virtual sedatives.

I hope the job hours work out.

I have no idea what sous vide is, but it sounds way too complicated, lol.
mac_arthur_park
Feb. 7th, 2017 04:08 pm (UTC)
It's not so much complicated as fiddly as fuck and takes forever:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sous-vide

Yeah. I'll stick with my crockpot (and my pressure cooker! Kent and I agreed that's what we'll be getting).

And, of course, Kent called me to say the new schedule is up and I'm back to two days. *sigh* I need to quit relaxing.

Thank you for the hugs.

ghost_light
Feb. 7th, 2017 02:05 pm (UTC)
*hugs* 18 HOURS?!? I think I would have put that in the entry way never to be seen again.
mac_arthur_park
Feb. 7th, 2017 04:10 pm (UTC)
I was getting ready to put it on Craigslist (along with the electric knife sharpener that we've used twice and the electronic food scale).

Now I'm glad we didn't. But the sharpener and the scale are SO going.
cielamara
Feb. 7th, 2017 02:26 pm (UTC)
Holy fuck, that nightmare. It made me shudder!

The ocean waves of caring that roll out of these entries about the people you interact with make me smile, even while they sometimes make me sad. Poor Ms. Stella. I hope her daughter takes care of her properly. That poor old lady.
gneu
Feb. 7th, 2017 02:41 pm (UTC)
You sound like me today: having a lot to say but also a lot to do and needing to get my ass in gear.
ravenfeather
Feb. 7th, 2017 03:54 pm (UTC)
I am so glad the authorities are getting involved in the elder abuse case. My dad died in my sister and her boyfriends "care" all while they were hiding what they were doing to him, and he would not talk. She stole hundreds of thousands of his money (with our mother's help) while daddy was trying to get away from them, and stay alive. We tried to get involved, but he signed a power of attorney that allowed her to make all decisions, and we could not fight it. I think elder abuse is way more common than most assume.
mac_arthur_park
Feb. 7th, 2017 04:12 pm (UTC)
I honestly believed mother was the only one this way until I started this job. And the ways families abuse their elders is myriad. I see it every day.

Sometimes, it really makes me hate people.
ravenfeather
Feb. 7th, 2017 04:34 pm (UTC)
I got to that point a LONG time ago. In college one of my favorite professor's was lobbying me to add a third major, sociology. He finally got to the point where he declared that "you could save the world" and my response was "the people in this world do not deserve to be saved". That response to him remains one of my biggest moment's of shame, but it was also a truth for me at the time.
praxedes_osaka
Feb. 7th, 2017 06:25 pm (UTC)
Holy cats, what a nightmare!! D8 Take some time for yourself, yes please. I ripped out wild roses for three and half hours straight instead of getting on the phone and emails today.

My aunt and uncle did a similar to my grandma--they drained her very large savings to maintain their lifestyle, even as they were tanking the business that Grandpa had built from the ground up. We were extremely fortunate--the cost of selling her side of the duplex in the retirement community covered her care when she moved to the big building, and Grandpa had done so much in the community during his lifetime that they assured Mom that Grandma would have a place to stay so long as she lived, and she did. I hope that Ms Stella can get the sort of help she needs.

Ah, sous vide (my junior chef-in-the-making and his obsession with cooking shows has served a purpose!!) is far, far too fiddly and finicky and altogether "special" for my taste. If it can't be "set it and forget it" or pulled together in fifteen minutes, then it doesn't happen very often in this household.
promiseoftin
Feb. 7th, 2017 06:26 pm (UTC)
*in a Homer Simpson voice* Mmm, 18-hour bacon. :)
elainegrey
Feb. 7th, 2017 06:37 pm (UTC)
So sorry to hear about the nightmare -- just awful.

Hope the job situation settles into something very sustainable.
corellian_sugar
Feb. 8th, 2017 01:19 am (UTC)
That nightmare would have haunted me for weeks. :::hugs:::

I really hope your new work hours work out. You need a little time away. It's one of the reasons I chose to work four 10-hours shifts at the cafe. It's a lot easier to rest and recuperate with a three day weekend.
communitybee
Feb. 8th, 2017 07:23 am (UTC)
Where my Grandma lives, I don't think there are assigned seats, but my Grandma thinks so and she has become this ring leader. It's kind of amusing because she was NEVER like that when she lived at home.
dimity_blue
Feb. 8th, 2017 09:24 am (UTC)
Ugh! Nightmares are horrible and that sounds like a doozy. :o(

I'm sorry to hear about Ms. Stella. How awful for her. I hope something can be done so she can come back.

18 hour bacon? I don't know anyone who'd spend 18 hours (plus 5 minutes for crisping) making bacon. The Insta-Pot sounds far better.
monkiainen
Feb. 8th, 2017 04:12 pm (UTC)
Why can't the difficult patients go somewhere else instead?

You know, sometimes I think that way too. And why is it that the most difficult patients have the most awful relatives that are judging EVERYTHING we do because they think their way is the best? Even if it's the opposite...
yesididit2
Feb. 8th, 2017 05:39 pm (UTC)
i hope they look into ms stella, that makes me really sad.

my grammas stay in the nursing home is paid for by medicare and grammas social security. we dont pay for it. my aunt handles the medical bills above and beyond that, for all her prescriptions and such.

yay for returning the sous vide and getting what you want! the instapot thing sounds neat!
coyotewoman
Feb. 9th, 2017 08:32 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry about Ms. Stella. :(

I got my Instant Pot this morning. I can't wait to figure out how to use it. There's a facebook community with about a gozillion hints and tips and recipes.Let me know when you get yours, if you want to be added to the group.
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )