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Well, I survived the holidays at work.  I wore my red sequinned Santa hat, which was a hit with the residents.

It was a sad year, though.  Unlike last year, VERY few residents had family visits.  And Miz D finally quit fighting on Christmas Eve after her family left.  I think she was just hanging on to see the great grandbabies one last time, tbh.  I will be forever thankful for the on-call hospice nurse who came to gently explain to her daughters that inserting a feeding tube (!!!!) would just prolong her suffering.

[The *really* fucked up thing is that there is one brother who the entire family has shut out (he's weird, but seems harmless.  But he is not as sharply dressed and polished as the rest of the family).  As I was preparing to leave work yesterday, the front desk got a call that he was on his way to visit his mama. The family hadn't told him!!!! They'd already come and cleaned out her room and everything.  It's horrible and I'm a coward, but I'm glad I'm not the one who had to tell him]

On a more positive note, what few family members who did visit almost all brought things for the staff and residents, so we had little mini-parties every hour or so.  Even A.L. (the wife of one of the residents) brought up necklaces for everyone again this year.  She does this whole Lady Bountiful thing which is *beyond* irritating, but the residents loved them and I'll admit mine was pretty spiffy, too (went with the scrubs and the hat.  Gotta love having a little flair when you're dealing with shitty diapers all day...).

I managed to get home with enough time to throw together my corn pudding (which, apparently, is now a requirement for every special occasion meal during cold weather), hop in the shower, don my "Naughty Boys Get the Best Toys" shirt, and have a glass of Jingle Juice (no idea what's in it.  But given the variety of bottles in the recycling, I think it was North Pole Iced Tea.  Yowza) and talk the spousebeast down after talking to his father.

For once, I am somewhat glad the cab was running late.  If I had been able to get to that phone, I would have been ho ho homicidal.  Ya know, we made that calendar for family and friends (the one that almost drove me 'round the bend).  There was no call for, after saying it was artsy (which it is), to comment on the *one* picture of the two of us.  "When are you guys getting your teeth fixed?"  (Uh, when we have a spare 50K?  You offering, happy boy?)  AND "Answer this carefully, in case she is in the room.  Is Alicia gaining weight?"


Who does that?  I mean, just say thanks for the calendar and stuff it in a drawer or use it for kitty litter.  Why go for the jugular like that?

[For the record, the weight thing didn't phase me.  Hell, this jackass had the opportunity to see Sarah Brightman on her last tour and talked more about her weight than her gorgeous, gorgeous voice.  Because, apparently, women exist to be visually appealing to him.  The thing about my teeth, though, really stung.  He sent me back to every schoolyard bully who made me ashamed to smile.  It took me YEARS to smile without covering my mouth with my hand.  Well, fuck you, Mr. Patriarch.  You are on my naughty list for the rest of your miserable, shriveled, mean spirited life.  I hope you never need an assisted living facility, because I WILL find some place worse than Happy Acres.]

Thankfully, I got the spousebeast calmed down in time for Chirp to arrive. (He LOVED the calendar, btw)  We had stockings, exchanged gifts , drank cocktails, and ate supper.  It was homey and warm and deeply silly.

Kent actually surprised me with my gift this year.  We usually get each other books or cds (not complaining;  we're just both really hard to buy for.  And reading and music are two of the great joys in our household).  This year, he got me one of those DNA test kits to find out what my ancestry is.  I'm so excited!

The night ended late, and I invited Chirp over for a late brunch the next morning.  Over the last few years, I have become obsessed with French toast made with panettone during the winter holidays.  I told Chirp I was doing that with homemade rum whipped cream...

...and he showed up the next morning with a box of whipped cream chargers.  96, to be precise.  And two bottles of prosecco.

Did I mention I love Chirp?  It does not take that many chargers to make whipped cream for 3 people.  So...whatever to do with the rest?

We had a lovely brunch and spent the rest of the day behaving like juvenile delinquents.  And we finally got to the red velvet cake I'd made for Christmas dessert (the previous night, we only got as far as the gumbo and the corn pudding.  And I have to admit that, in the highly competitive Snavely Kitchen, my 40 minute corn pudding kicked Kent's 2 day gumbo's ASS.  The gumbo was amazing....but the guys polished off almost all of a 9X13 pan.  I was lucky to get any for myself).

Then my mother called.  We were giggly and BEYOND silly at that point (and listening to the Monkees cd that was one of Kent's present.  See?  Predictable) and Chirp said "I wanna talk to Mamma McEvoy!   And tell her how amazing this girl right here is!"

When I got the phone back, mother sounded teary.  "You know, Alicia Marie...he sounds just like Ernie."

And I realize he does.  My "uncle" Ernie was mother's friend in college.  He was flamboyant.  He was caring. He was fabulous. He took care of his own.   And Chirp is a lot like him.  We used to go see Ernie and his partner and my godfather and Jumpin' Joe V in West Hollywood when I was a SoCal kid.

So mother and I had a moment.  I told her her holiday gift (the soon to be infamous calendar)  is going to be late.  She said so is mine.  Then I started talking about work and she found the first excuse to hang up.

Family is fun.


( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 29th, 2017 04:04 am (UTC)
Sounds like a great time and I'm really sorry Husbeast's father is so judgy. That's my grandmother's job in our family: it doesn't matter that Niece1 graduated with honors, has a great boyfriend, just got a great job, and is looking at law schools, because gained weight that's all we can think about.

What goes in your corn pudding? I make my sister's recipe for Pagan Thanksgiving and (now, apparently) LabPuppy's New Year's Eve party.
Dec. 29th, 2017 10:17 am (UTC)
Those comments were just mean.... It is nice when my mom hangs up first, I am off the hook for being a slacker (in her eyes).
Dec. 29th, 2017 11:11 am (UTC)
Sounds like your holiday was nice except for those nasty comments from certain family members about weight and teeth. That was uncalled for!

That corn pudding sounds delicious. I cannot eat stuff like that anymore but I am pleased to hear other people really enjoyed a special food treat.

And glad to hear the talk with Mom went well.
Dec. 29th, 2017 06:49 pm (UTC)
Oh honey. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to tell people their relatives are dead. It's a shit thing to do, and even though I've done it probably 10-15 times now, it never, ever becomes less of a shit thing to do. ESPECIALLY when there's pre-existing family drama. I'm glad you were spared that. :(
Dec. 30th, 2017 03:21 pm (UTC)

Yay for surviving the holidays, at least!

Dec. 30th, 2017 05:10 pm (UTC)
That family who didn't tell their brother about their mom - that's just wrong. Even if for whatever reason, you're not speaking to certain members of your family - there are some things that you just don't do. Oy.

That's awesome that Chirp triggered some good memories for your mom - and it's great that you have had both Ernie and Chirp in your life - they sound like good people.

Dec. 30th, 2017 08:18 pm (UTC)
There is reason you don't live near Kent's dad. Good lord.

As Ani DiFranco says, 'old age will distill you...' I don't look forward to this man in 20 years.

As for your mom's attention span...well.

Your celebrations sounded fun and festive. It is clear you were where you needed to be.

Happy Holidays.
Jan. 2nd, 2018 11:56 am (UTC)
Wow, that is terrible. I get not communicating with your family but they have to know about the important things.

Also wow again. Sarah Brightman is amazing, WTF dude?!
Jan. 5th, 2018 11:52 am (UTC)
ugh, the patriarch can go bathe in a cesspool. what an absolute floater.

Chirp seems ao adorable and I'm so happy for you *beams* and Kent's present is awesome! I had never thpught of giving/getting that as a present but it is a great idea. can't wait to read about the results, if you share them!
Jan. 5th, 2018 06:54 pm (UTC)
Overall, sounds like a very nice holiday.

People bitching about your heartfelt gifts can get stuffed.
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )