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I am happy to have a job that I love, but this one day off a week shit is for the birds.  I spent so much of today in an exhausted sleep that it really doesn't feel like a day off.

(How exhausted, you ask?  Let's put it this way:  I went to take a nap, and Kent opened the door to check on me three times AND I DIDN''T SO MUCH AS TWITCH.  I am a ridiculously light sleeper.  If he stays up late and opens a beer, I wake up.  Flushes the toilet, I wake up.  Locks the door when he leaves at the ass crack of dawn for work.  Yup.  Wide the fuck awake)

I can't completely blame work, though.  I came home Monday to a call from Santa Pete.  He'd fallen *three times* during the day, and couldn't get up this time.  Cue Former PCA Girl(tm).

He needs to go into a facility (NOT Happy Acres).  I know it.  He knows it.  He's offering me, in his words, scads of money to become his private PCA.

I can't, y'all.  Maybe this makes me a horrible human being, but I just can't.  I will swing by every day after work, clean him up (I NEVER wanted to be in a position where I had to insist that someone wear adult diapers again), do his shopping, make sure he has his meds, hide his pot and porn (yes, I AM the friend to ask to clear the browsing history on your computer when you die.  I won't even judge, I promise).  I'll sit and hold his hand.  I will put up with his peevish, childish tantrums.  But I cannot do this as a fulltime job,.

Especially since he refuses to see a doctor.  If he doesn't agree to go this week, I'll just call an ambulance.

So, yeah....doing that, too.  There's a lot of emotional (and literal) heavy lifting going on.

On a more positive note, I've inherited the bulk of a friend's cd collection who is downsizing to move out west (not thrilled with the move.  I love that she is chasing her dream, but who am I supposed to do Margarita Mondays with?  Why do all of the amazing women I know feel the need to move?  What about MY needs, damnit!?!?  ;)  ).  She said to keep what I wanted and sell the rest.

I got SO MUCH store credit at the used cd place.  I was nice and shared with the spousebeast (well, he DID buy me an early supper at Med Deli).  But I got so much cool stuff!

Okay, and "The Rocky Horror Glee Show" soundtrack.  Yeah, yeah....I know.  But I really miss that show sometimes.

Further proof that I am a total nerd:  currently wearing my Life Cafe shirt, drinking cheap chardonnay out of my Rent coffee mug, and waiting for Rent: Live to start.  I hope they don't disappoint me.

Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
weebleswobble
Jan. 28th, 2019 02:57 am (UTC)
being a caretaker is such hard work, not just the physical stuff, but the emotional stuff. but then you know this after having worked at 'happy acres'. wishing you the best in talking him into moving somewhere he can get the help he needs. thats one of the most difficult conversations. people feel like they're losing all their freedom if they go and resist mightily. it took years of arguing with my gramma to get her to move somewhere she could get the help she needed.
twissie
Jan. 28th, 2019 09:49 am (UTC)
That sounds like a rough situation. I don't think I would be able to deal with it (then again, I don't have any experience within healthcare..). I hope he'll come to his senses and at least go to the doctor.
vegawriters
Jan. 28th, 2019 05:53 pm (UTC)
Caretaking just ... ruins the soul. It really does. Good for you to set some boundaries at least.

I'm so sorry.
promiseoftin
Jan. 28th, 2019 07:14 pm (UTC)
It's really amazing and selfless of you to help your friend. But yeah, I hope he comes to the realization that he needs a facility.
communitybee
Jan. 28th, 2019 11:30 pm (UTC)
Glad you have a job you love to go to!!!
annelaure
Jan. 29th, 2019 12:41 am (UTC)
It doesn't make you a horrible human being at all.
to each his job. You can't be everything to everyone, and specially when it requires things that are that personal... Can't he get other PCA/ nurses to check on him a couple of times a day?
There are so many things that can be done (in France) and since I work in that field I could suggest like a million options, but unfortunately I have no idea how it's done on your side of the pond...

(I'm not moving anywhere. Wanna come and hang around?)
opakele
Jan. 29th, 2019 02:01 am (UTC)
Oh, Santa Pete...

You are right to say no. You weren't happy.

He will listen to you...eventually.
imagine_peace
Jan. 29th, 2019 08:56 am (UTC)
Poor Santa Pete! :(
dimity_blue
Jan. 29th, 2019 02:12 pm (UTC)
Is there any chance Pete can get one of those supported living apartments so he's not "in a home" but he's got some help? Or can he afford private carers to help him a few times a day?

I hope you can cope with the 6 days a week schedule. *hugs*
amw
Feb. 6th, 2019 11:32 am (UTC)
Man, I feel you on the long shift thing. In China for some reason they like to swap around the holidays so that they can have a long weekend, so in the last month I pulled 6 days in a row (before Jan 1 New Year) and 7 days in a row (before Chinese New Year). It shouldn't seem like that much different from 5 days, but somehow it is. I was done for. I can't imagine working 6 in a row as the standard.

Edited at 2019-02-06 11:33 am (UTC)
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )